Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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