Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
