I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
