Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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