I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
