I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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