fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
