You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
