There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
don't judge my taste in strippers
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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