question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
