Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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