We're facebook friends in real life
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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