well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
