fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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