her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
This is classic penis vs brain.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
