Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
