In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
