im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
