I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
