dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
