I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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