After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
