Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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