Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He has the fingertips of a God
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