all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
