He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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