She just used a chaser for red wine.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
