well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
