What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
