Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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