It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
