is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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