bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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