fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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