true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
