I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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