We're like a lot better than the average bears
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
