i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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