K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Randomize
