dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
