i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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