Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
