Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
