yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
