Ambien. No doubt about it.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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