so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
