he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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