would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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