I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
