The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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