I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
